


A Bug in the System

by Lumelle



Series: Instructions for Assembly (Some Parts Sold Separately) [4]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Ultimate Spider-Man (Cartoon), Young Avengers
Genre: Multi, Suspicions, Teenage Drama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-14
Updated: 2014-09-21
Packaged: 2018-02-17 10:15:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2306066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lumelle/pseuds/Lumelle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Peter Parker first met Billy Kaplan, he expected their relationship to remain strictly professional. (Saving the world in tights is totally professional.) The problem is, for a geek, Peter really gets friends far too easily -- and some friends simply bring chaos.</p><p>Hey, at least MJ seems amused.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sensing Trouble

**Author's Note:**

> **Please note** that this work contains strong language, suspicions and discussion of cheating, and mentions of depression. Please read accordingly.

In Peter's defense, his Spidey sense had been tingling.

It wasn't the "your life is in immediate danger" buzz that he had conditioned himself to respond to without delay, which was a good thing, because it would have looked pretty weird if he had suddenly started jumping around in the middle of a busy street in his civilian clothes. However, his instincts did say that something was going on nearby, and Peter knew better than to ignore his instincts. That kind of stupidity got you squashed.

Digging out his phone for an excuse, he stopped, stepping closer to the wall to get out of people's way. Nobody particularly remarkable was walking around, certainly nowhere that he could see. This meant that either he'd have to duck into the alleys, or something was up in one of the stores lining the street. Which in turn meant he had to weigh the importance of his weird feeling against the possibility of being late for dinner and making his aunt worry.

Luckily for him and domestic peace — when had he ever been able to ignore a weird feeling? — he actually spotted the cause for that special tingle very easily. On his second glance around, he spotted two figures right behind the window of a coffee shop opposite. One of them was Danny, that much was clear, while the other appeared to be Billy Stark.

He supposed it was a good sign that he would even recognize Billy. He'd heard about the spell Billy used not to get recognized in public, and while magic still made his inner scientist cry, he also had to admit it seemed to work. If he was able to recognize him now, that meant he knew Billy well enough to get past the enchantment.

He'd have damn well hoped so. He had actually taken MJ to a Young Avengers movie night once, with all the associated explanations, and managed to do so without even hinting that he or any of his friends were in on the superhero business. As far as MJ knew, Peter and Billy had run into each other in a comic book store, and Billy had recognized him as the guy who sometimes took pictures of the Avengers. He still wasn't sure what she thought to be the reason they had gone on to actually befriend each other, but she hadn't questioned it further, so he was lucky that way.

(No, he had not risked his identity and safety simply to be able to show off his hot girlfriend at a superhero social. Sam had made a careless mention, MJ had gotten curious, and Peter had had to come up with his explanations on the spot. After that, he really hadn't had much of a choice when she had heard the Human Torch occasionally showed up. He really didn't get what was so special about the guy, anyway. Sure, he was grown up and rich and handsome and a well-known hero, but in the end, all there really was to him was just so much hot air.

Okay, now his puns were getting embarrassing even in his head. Really, he should have been ashamed.)

Anyway, he recognized Billy Stark. And Danny. Who were together in a coffee shop. Which was, actually, not nearly remarkable enough for his stupid Spidey sense to jump up and try to disrupt his day.

At least, that was what he thought until he met Danny at school the next day and made a casual mention of seeing him out at town. In response Danny took on a strange look, just for a moment, and then told Peter with a straight face he had to be mistaken, Danny had been nowhere near the area, he'd in fact spent the whole day home.

Well. Wasn't that the most curious reaction.

Clearly, this demanded some investigation.

*

"There's something bothering you."

Peter looked startled, which was both ridiculous and somewhat adorable. "What do you mean?" Yes, because it would have been so very hard to see the way he was frowning and all but sighing heavily at his worries. Really, he wasn't the most subtle of people.

"I'm not stupid, Peter. Please don't act like you think I am." She nodded toward the game on the TV screen. "If you stare at that any harder, the whole thing's going to catch on fire."

"I'm just focusing on the game, that's all."

"Uh-huh. Which must be why you've had it paused for the last five minutes at least." She rolled her eyes, turning another page on the book she was reading. "Look, I don't mind coming over and doing entirely different things because you're thinking about something. However, that presumes you actually admit there's something on your mind, instead of just letting me think I'm boring you."

"Ah. Sorry." He sighed and dropped the controller, leaning back on the couch. "It's just —" He hesitated for a moment, then sighed again. "What would you do if you thought your friend was doing something really bad?"

"That would depend on the scale of badness in effect." Yay, progress! Communication! Which probably meant she should set her book aside for the moment. "What are we talking about here? Cheating in tests? Shoplifting? Serial murders? If it's the last one, go to the police, stat. And under no circumstances try to face them down alone, without telling anyone where you're going, with all the evidence on your person." Okay, so that was mostly a joke, but she really wouldn't have put it past Peter to get into that kind of a situation.

"No! It's — it's nothing illegal. It's just…" Peter ran a hand through his hair, likely trying to put his thoughts in order. "Ah. You remember Billy, right?"

"Yes, Peter, I do remember your random billionaire comic store encounter." She brushed a lock of hair from her face. "How do you end up knowing all the rich kids? Though really, I don't think there's any way to go up from being invited to a Stark movie night. At that point, your teen social life has peaked. Pretty well for a bullied outcast."

"I'm pretty sure that was just because Darcy insisted on them inviting someone else non-super along and I was the only one Billy happened to know beyond the team." Yeah, right. "Anyway, you know how he's dating Teddy?"

"No, Peter. I completely missed that, despite the fact that their engagement was one of the biggest gossip points of the year and they can't get through a single interview without someone asking about their wedding plans."

"Absolutely hilarious." So why didn't he seem amused? "Anyway. Ah. I… think Billy might be messing with that."

Okay, now that got her attention. "What do you mean?"

"I — damn. Promise you won't turn this into some big headline?"

"Thanks, Peter, but I do have some morals. Including not wanting to ruin the lives of good guys. So what is it?"

"I think Billy's cheating on Teddy with Danny."

That made her blink. "Danny? As in, your friend Danny?"

"You know many others?"

"Yeah, that's not happening." And the very idea was just weirdly hilarious, rather than in any way concerning.

"I'm serious, MJ." He turned to face her fully, an earnest look on his face. "I've been seeing them around town, usually in one of a couple of coffee shops. And not just dropping in or happening to be there at the same time by coincidence; once I saw them spend two hours in one, and I don't know how long they were there before I first noticed them."

"Are you telling me you've been stalking them?"

"No! I mean — I'm not following them around or anything. Just, you know, after the first couple of times I saw them, I sometimes check the spots, especially if Danny's said he's busy for the evening. He always is when it happens, but refuses to say what he's doing."

"I really don't think your friends are obligated to brief you on their social lives."

"Of course not! But the thing is, nobody else knows what he's doing either. I've asked the others, and at least Ava and Sam have noticed him being weird lately. Luke just seemed upset when I asked him, but he said he hadn't noticed anything."

"You asked Luke if he thought Danny was dating Billy behind Teddy's back." And to think he could sometimes be so smart.

"Well, yeah. But nobody seems to know anything specific, just that Danny's been acting weird and keeps meeting Billy on a regular basis."

"And did it ever occur to you to just ask one of them?"

"I tried! The very first time I saw them, I mentioned it to Danny, and he denied ever being out that day at all! And he never admits anything."

"Well, that still doesn't mean there's any cheating going on. Maybe he just doesn't want you to be nosy. Others are allowed to have friends without your knowledge, after all." She picked up her book again. This wasn't getting anywhere. "Who knows? Maybe he's actually working for the Avengers."

Peter spluttered at that. "No! That's just — no, I really don't think that's it!"

"Stop blowing everything out of proportion, Peter. Just because you don't know what's going on doesn't mean nobody does. Why do you automatically assume any of this is happening behind Teddy's back? Maybe Billy just wants a friend who doesn't live in the same house."

"So why's Danny being so secretive?"

"Who knows? As I said, maybe he just doesn't appreciate prying. Or he also wants a friend who doesn't immediately get absorbed by your general social circle. People can be territorial, even about friends."

"Maybe." Peter sighed. "I hope you're right."

"You will find I often am." She quickly found her spot on the page. "Now, unpause the game and finish the boss at last. At this rate I'll never be able to get that music out of my head."

And Peter, being the dutiful boyfriend he was, did just that.

Now, if he could just get over his strange ideas as easily.

*

Peter leaned against a wall, tapping his fingertips against it as he took out his phone. It took him a moment to find the right number, it wasn't one he called with any frequency, but at least he had it, which was all that really mattered.

The phone rang a few times before it was finally picked up. "Yeah?" Teddy sounded a bit distracted.

"Ah, hi, it's Peter. Peter Parker. I'm not interrupting anything, am I?"

"Hm? Nah, I was just putting some finishing touches to this drawing. What's up?"

"Oh, nothing big." Liar. "Actually, I was wondering if Billy's around. I tried calling him, but he's not picking up."

"Ah, afraid I can't help you there. He's gone out for the afternoon."

"Right. Any idea where I could find him? It's nothing serious, but I'm trying to do some repairs on my mask, and I thought he could help me out with this tricky seam." It was reasonable enough. They'd chatted about the woes of hand-made uniforms before.

"Don't think it's going to be that easy. He's visiting friends in Westchester."

"Right." Peter stared across the street through the coffee shop window, where Billy and Danny were laughing at something, heads bent together over the table. "Well, I suppose I'll try and figure this out on my own. It's no big deal, I've got a spare. Thanks anyway, though."

"Anytime." And he sounded so cheerful, like there was nothing wrong in the world.

Clearly, it was about time he did something about this.

*

"Thanks again." Billy stuck the last books in his bag and slung it over his shoulder. "I'm not sure what I'd do without your help."

"Probably you'd do just as well." Danny chuckled. "I just hope I'm of at least some help; it's not like I'm an expert or anything, and you're going through stuff a lot faster than we do. Seems to me there'd be a lot of people more qualified than I am to help you with this."

"Probably, but there are very few people who meet three specific criteria." Billy grinned. "You're close enough that I don't mind asking your help with this, not so close that it'd be impossible to keep it from Teddy, and entirely bribable."

Danny snorted at that. "You're a Stark. I find it hard to believe there's someone you couldn't bribe."

"Not bribable as in going against their principles in exchange for money. I meant more along the lines of 'willing to spend their afternoon in a coffee shop going over extra homework.'"

"Well, you are buying, so I suppose it does count as bribing." Danny pushed the door open, letting Billy step outside ahead of him.

Billy blinked. Sunlight he had expected, that was a given when exiting an indoor space at daytime. The group of serious-looking teen heroes facing him was not. They were all in casual clothes, but the serious frowns were the same he'd seen them directing at villains before. Wasn't that just promising. "What's this, an intervention?"

"This isn't a joking matter, Billy." Peter, apparently the spokesperson for whatever was going on, stepped forward. "We'd very much like an explanation."

"An explanation of what?" Danny stepped up to his side, frowning. "What's going on?"

Passers-by were giving them odd looks, as one well might to a group of teenagers apparently involved in a face-off in the middle of a busy streetwalk. Before any of them responded, Billy sighed. "Okay. Before any of you make this into a scene, whatever you're up to, perhaps I could suggest heading right back inside? I'll even buy. I've got a feeling that whatever this is, I'm not caffeinated enough for it." Despite having just spent a few hours in the place. Tony would have been proud.

The staff gave them odd looks as Danny and Billy returned inside, followed by several others. Nevertheless, they seemed happy enough to serve up a full round of drinks as they found a table big enough to settle around, thankfully in a corner.

"So." Billy sighed. "What is it you're all glaring at us for?"

"We'd like an explanation." Sam was the first to speak this time, never one to let others get all the limelight. "For, you know, all the lying and hiding and sneaking about."

"I don't recall lying to any of you." Though now he had a sneaking suspicion as to what was going on. Still, he didn't know why they would all be looking at him as though he'd just confessed to drowning puppies for fun.

"You lied to Teddy about where you are. I called him, and he thought you were somewhere upstate for the day." Peter's eyes were dark with anger and hurt. "And instead we find you here, happily going on a date with someone else!"

Billy blinked. Then he blinked again. Honestly, he was lucky he hadn't been sipping at his drink just then, or he might have made a spit-take worthy of any cartoon. "You thought we were on a… date?" Surely he hadn't heard right. Though… that would explain why Luke looked like his world was about to end.

"Well, what other explanation is there?" And oh, goodness, Ava was going along with it as well. "You're both sneaking around, lying to others about where you are and who you are with, and instead you're sitting in a coffee shop like nothing's wrong."

"Right." He sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Please at least tell me you didn't go to Teddy with this theory." Though Teddy probably would have just laughed in their faces. At least, Billy hoped he would have. It'd have been quite upsetting to find out his boyfriend might actually believe something like that about him.

"We thought we'd at least give you a chance to explain yourself first." Peter scowled. "Though it'd better be a damn good explanation."

"Right." Danny seemed about to speak, but Billy motioned for him to sit back. Instead, he opened his bag, taking out the first thing to meet his hand. He showed the thick book to everyone. "This look like date material to you?"

"A chemistry textbook?" Now it was Peter's turn to blink in surprise. "That's — what do you have that for?"

"For the same reason I have books on several other subjects." Billy's lips twitched. "Because it's much easier to get tutored if you actually have the materials at hand."

"Tutored?" Luke sounded stunned. A good stunned, though, which was just as well. "You mean — Danny has been tutoring you?"

"Precisely." He put the book back into his bag. "And any lying regarding the subject, either on my part or possibly Danny's, has been to keep the word from getting to Teddy. Not because I've suddenly decided to ruin my engagement by going for a taken man, which, thanks, guys, it's really nice to know what you truly think about me."

"Well, it's been damn suspicious!" Sam spat out. Billy bet he hadn't even noticed the implication in his words. "You can't blame us for thinking something's going on!"

"I suppose not. But, that's the truth. Danny has been helping me study, nothing more, nothing less. However innocuous it is, though, I would appreciate if you continued not mentioning this to Teddy."

"Why, though?" No, of course they wouldn't let it go that easily. "Even if it's all innocent, why should we help you lie to your boyfriend?"

"I'm not going to go to college." He sometimes wondered what his parents would have said, the ones who always told him to do his best and make something of himself, who taught him that knowledge itself had value. He supposed they would have been proud of him nevertheless. They did have a tendency for being utterly understanding no matter what. "The others might, but I won't. It'd take time away from my magic studies, and I'd be unlikely to learn anything more important there. So maybe it's not actually necessary for me to do this, but… I want to. And, in a way, I need to."

"Right." Peter raised an eyebrow. "And what exactly is this very important thing you're working on that Teddy can't know about?"

He drew a deep breath. "Finishing high school."

For a moment, the others didn't react. Then, Peter blinked. "You mean you haven't?"

"No. It's… well. Even before we got dumped in this world, I lost about half a year to what probably qualified as clinical depression. And as we got here, it seemed temporary, so I had the perfect excuse not to even try to fix things. And after that… well. It just never seemed that important." He shook his head. "Then Tony came to an agreement with Charles — Charles Xavier, he's got a school for mutants upstate. You might've seen him at our birthday party, a bald guy in a wheelchair? Anyway, he said we could finish school at his place, so it's all legal and official. Tommy of course got it done right away, and Teddy studied and passed without a problem. I just… I never got to it."

"So what changed your mind?" Luke, this time, looking genuinely curious. "I mean, if it wasn't important enough a year ago."

"I'm getting married this summer." Because obviously they had all missed all the fuss about that particular detail and needed to be told. "And, well, I know I'm an adult and everything, but I still feel like that's something I need to get done before the wedding. It's bad enough listening to my boyfriend talk about trying to fit some art studies into his schedule when I haven't finished anything beyond middle school, I don't want to be in that situation with my husband."

"And is that why Teddy can't hear about it?"

"Sort of. I mean, I know he'd be all supportive and loving and everything, he always is. Even when I was depressed, he was constantly trying to get me to do things. But… that's part of it. I want to do it without his help, without his prompting, because it's something I think is important and something I want to get done. And, yeah, I know finishing high school isn't exactly a unique accomplishment, but that's precisely why I want to get at least that much done before I call myself ready to enter married life."

"Sounds reasonable enough to me." Ah, Ava, a haven of sensibility. "I think it'll be a nice little surprise for Teddy. And now that we've figured it out, the boys can all stop being such idiots about it." She gave meaningful gazes all around the table, and the boys did at least have the decency to look somewhat ashamed. Well, Peter and Sam did. Luke was too busy staring at Danny. Wouldn't that be an interesting talk.

"Right. Now, is there any other aspect of my personal life you are deeply worried about, or can I finally go home?" Billy sighed. "Not to say this hasn't been absolutely delightful, of course, but for all that I may be keeping secrets from him, I do like to actually see my fiancé every now and then."

"Ah, sure. Sorry." Peter paused, rubbing the back of his head. "And, you know. Sorry for doubting you."

"It's fine. I realize it might've looked pretty suspicious if you didn't know what's going on." Even if the idea was ridiculous. No offense to Danny, but he didn't come even close to comparing. No one did.

"At first I thought I must have been seeing things or whatever, but then it became a pattern, and… well. I got worried you were about to ruin a very good thing."

"Thanks for the concern, I guess, but it's really not needed. I promise you, if for some unfathomable reason I ever even thought of letting go of Teddy, he'd be the first one to know." Because that was likely to happen.

"I'll take your word for that." Peter offered him a faint smile as Billy got up, gulping down the rest of his coffee. It was almost as good as the products of Tony's hyper-expensive coffee maker back home, and here he didn't have to elbow anyone out of the way for it. He wasn't about to waste even a drop.

"Wait. What do you mean, a taken man?"

Well. He supposed it had been too easy.

*

"Did you know Danny's going out with Luke?"

MJ raised an eyebrow. "Peter, calm down. Or at least let me get in first."

"Ah. Right." Peter stepped out of the way, letting her walk in. "Sorry about that. It's just — I'm a bit freaked out."

"Yes, I noticed that on the phone." MJ set her bag on the floor and stepped closer to give him a small kiss. "Why are you so out of sorts, anyway? I know you don't have a problem with it, you would have said something about Billy and Teddy if you did."

"Of course not! It's just… I didn't even notice." He sighed. "I'm their friend and I didn't know, MJ."

"Well, they haven't been exactly shouting it from the rooftops. I'm fairly sure you would have been able to keep it in mind if they had directly told you."

"…I notice you're not surprised at all."

"Peter, nobody but you and possibly Sam would be surprised. Did I know beyond any shadow of doubt that they were a thing? No. Was I surprised to hear it? Also no. I said they haven't been shouting it from the rooftops, but they also haven't been terribly subtle about their affection."

"And now you're again making me feel bad about not knowing." Peter sighed again, turning towards the kitchen. "I'm not stupid, you know I'm not. So this must mean I just don't pay enough attention."

"With all due respect, Peter, you are intelligent, but when it comes to emotional intelligence, you leave something to be wished for. And don't look at me like that," she added as he threw her a look over his shoulder. "I've been reliably informed it's a common flaw in teenage boys."

"Informed by who? Your father?"

"Well, he'd know, wouldn't he? Seeing how he used to be one." MJ smiled. "Now, is there anything else you'd care to tell me about? From what little I understood over the phone, your little discovery was the result of confronting Billy about his weird behavior."

Peter told her the whole sordid tale as he got them both a coke and they headed to the living room. Aunt May was out for her usual yoga class, so he didn't have to worry about interruptions. MJ listened patiently until he was done with his story, taking little sips of her coke.

"Well," she said at last, "at least I suppose you've all learned a valuable lesson about this whole mess."

"What, that two of my best friends are gay?" Nothing wrong with that, of course, he was just still a bit disconcerted over the fact that he hadn't realized it until now.

"No. That not all lies are necessarily evil."

"Forgive me if that sounds pretty bad from someone hoping to become a journalist." No, he could not edit his mouth even now.

"Hush, you." MJ nudged him with her foot. "What I mean is, you seemed so scandalized by the idea that Billy would ever tell a lie to his boyfriend. But as you can see, he has a perfectly acceptable reason for it. He's keeping a secret, yes, and even lying to his boyfriend about what he's doing and where, but only because he's planning to let him know when it's relevant."

"So you think it's okay to lie to someone for their own good?" As though he had any right to talk about that.

"I didn't say that. Imagine someone was lying to you about what they did, and then you found out it's because they were throwing a surprise party for you. Would you think it was terrible and evil and they never should have been hiding things from you?"

"No, of course not. But that's different."

"How is it different? Yeah, you thought this was suspicious, but perhaps the party stuff they're doing is suspicious as well. Maybe every time they sneak off to prepare the party a new masked criminal shows up, and it's a total coincidence, but you still draw the wrong conclusions. Does that make your friend somehow terrible just because you jumped to conclusions?"

"I didn't think he was terrible." Not after he'd gotten the explanation, at least. Before that, he had been… confused, mostly. It just hadn't made sense.

"I know, I know. But my point is, sometimes people keep secrets for good reasons, and that doesn't make them evil. Maybe it's a surprise party or a gift, or letting it become public could cause a lot of trouble. And no, I don't mean hiding criminal activities or whatever, so don't even try to get smart with me."

"Right." He swallowed. "Say… what if you found out I was keeping something from you?"

"Is this your way of telling me you've got someone else?"

Peter almost shouted in response, then noticed the hint of a smirk on her face. "You're terrible," he sighed. "No, of course not. Just… you know. Hypothetically."

"Just asking for a friend, hmm?" She shrugged, tucking one of her feet under herself. "I'd trust that you have good reasons for it, and whatever it is, you'll tell me when you can."

"Right." And wasn't that just the way to pile up pressure on him. Though then, he could only blame himself, having kept it from her so long. "…Ah. There is something I should tell you."

"Yes, I figured as much." Yeah, he hadn't been exactly subtle, there.

"It's just. Ah. I want to tell you, but… it's not simple." His eyes fell down, unable to face her directly right now. "I mean, it's kind of a big deal, and of course I trust you, it's just…"

"Peter?" And, wait, that wasn't right, he was supposed to be the one who spoke. "Peter, look at me."

He finally lifted his eyes back to her. She was looking at him seriously, but didn't seem angry or even impatient. Instead, her lips turned into a faint smile.

"I'll now tell you something I was planning to keep secret for a while yet." As he nodded, she drew a deep breath. "Peter… I know you are Spider-Man."

He blinked. "…What?"

"You heard me the first time." She shook her head. "I know, Peter. I've known for a while now, I just figured you weren't ready to let me know yet. I was going to let you be until you decided to tell me, but, well, it seemed like you were on the verge of it anyway." Her lips curled up again. "Unless, of course, there's something else you're hiding from me as well?"

"No! No, but… how did you know?" He'd been careful, he knew he had. It was the only reason he had made it this far.

"Don't worry, you're doing a good job. You move completely differently when you're in costume, and that's what most people look at. But your mask only changes your voice a little. I'm sure it's enough to fool the occasional villain who might have also run into you in civilian gear, but I'm your oldest friend. I've heard your voice often enough, and interacted with Spider-Man enough, that there's no way I wouldn't have made that connection."

"And… you're not mad?"

"About what?" She reached over to take his hand. "Let me guess. You didn't tell me because if I didn't know, it was less likely I'd act in a way that would lead anyone to suspect I had a connection to Spider-Man."

"Right." He had never thought she would reveal him, that wasn't the issue. He trusted her more than that.

"I know what kind of people you fight, Peter," she said, her tone soft. "I've seen villains attack the Avengers Tower and the Baxter Building to get at a handful of heroes there, not caring that they're endangering hundreds of civilians with it. That's the kind of people you're protecting me from. No, I'm not mad, I'm glad that you care about me enough to keep me safe, even when it makes things infinitely more difficult for you." She squeezed his hand. "But I'm also glad you told me."

"Ah, right." He gave her a faint smile. "Suppose I won't have to come up with silly excuses for why I've missed a date, anymore."

"Yeah, I was starting to notice a pattern." She grinned. "Though about that… there is something I want in return."

Peter blinked. "Oh? What is it?"

"An exclusive interview for my blog, of course."

Well. He supposed it couldn't be any worse than anything JJ had said about him.

At least he certainly hoped so.

*

"Ah, May. It has been a while."

May turned to face the smiling Virginia. "Indeed. You haven't been around much lately, my dear." Virginia was such a lovely young woman, not that she probably would have agreed to calling herself young, but she was often too busy to make it to the class on a regular basis. A shame, really. May rather enjoyed their post-yoga smoothies.

"Oh, you know how it is." Virginia shook her head, gathering her hair back in a neat ponytail. "Never mind work, now I've been busy with the wedding preparations. And since it's a choice between either doing it all by myself or trusting the rest to handle things properly without my help, well, there really isn't much of a choice after all."

"It's the price we pay for perfectionism." May chuckled slightly. "I hope you aren't doing everything entirely alone, at least?"

"Oh, no, but the rest are spending a lot of time on the gift, you see, and I do enjoy the organization, as long as I have enough time to actually do it. So I don't mind, really, it's just that I have very little time for anything else."

"I suppose that explains why Bruce hasn't been around much lately, either." Bruce was another friend she had made through the class, and the third party to their smoothie chats. He also happened to be the father of the boy Virginia's stepson was marrying, so May often lent an ear to both of them when they shared the difficulties of wedding planning.

"Yes, well, there has been a lot going on. Mostly I trust him and Steve to make sure the present is done in time. And of course the boys themselves have done a lot, but it falls to me to make sure everything gets done."

"How are the two doing, anyway? It must be a bit overwhelming, especially at their age." Billy and Teddy, as she recalled. Sweet boys.

"Oh, they're taking it quite well, really. And honestly, the distraction's been good." Virginia sighed. "Billy and his brother had something of a falling out, so he's been putting a lot more energy into the wedding planning to distract himself. I just hope it will resolve itself before the wedding. I know Billy wants his brother to stand up for him, but it seems unlikely either of them is going to take the first step and apologize."

"Oh, undoubtedly." May shook her head. "Peter can be quite difficult about such things, too, and he's such a sweet boy otherwise. Well, he is when he doesn't think he's keeping things secret from me."

"It's the age, I suppose. Secrets are a part of it." Virginia chuckled. "Ah, that reminds me. The boys are getting the guest list more or less finalized. Would you like an invitation? There is plenty of room."

"Oh, I'm quite fine, though thank you for asking. I rather doubt the boys would care for an old woman there, and in any case, Peter does so enjoy his little mysteries. How would he react if he heard I know his friends' parents?"

"Perhaps it would be good for him to hear, though. Might give him some new perspective."

"Even so. I'll be busy enough making sure the boy makes it to the wedding all nice and decent." May paused, thinking. "Perhaps this'll give me a chance to actually meet the boys, though. All I know about them is what you have told me and Peter's mentions of going over to your place."

"Oh, that would be such a wonderful idea, I'm sure." Virginia smiled. "But for now, perhaps we should get through the class? And afterwards we must go out again, Bruce and you and I. It has been far too long since I got the chance to talk with someone who doesn't share a house with me."

"You know I always enjoy talking with you two." And she did, really she did, and not just because it offered her an alternative perspective to her nephew's life.

Really, she wondered how long Peter thought he could keep up this silliness.

*

_'When asked about his dating prospects, Spider-Man had to give disappointing news. "Sorry, ladies, but I'm absolutely taken, with an absolutely brilliant girlfriend. Think cross between genius and supermodel, and she hasn't even tried to bite my head off. I'm a very lucky spider indeed."'_

"I don't recall saying anything like that."

"I'm sure it's what you meant, though."

"In fact, I don't recall you even asking that question."

"Why, was there a reason for me to ask?"

"…Of course not, dear."

Yeah, still not as bad as JJ.


	2. The Invited Many

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter receives an invitation that raises questions, Billy and Teddy have a request, and Aunt May knows more than she lets on. Elsewhere, other invitations arrive.

Saturday mornings, Peter decided, were best left in their rightful territory as mythical occurrences that only happened to other people.

He knew Aunt May didn't entirely approve, she somehow thought it was just laziness on his part, but at least she agreed that sleeping in was a much healthier alternative to various other teenage shenanigans he could have been getting into on the average Saturday. Therefore, he didn't get as much as a sharp word as he shambled into the kitchen around noon, going about the overly complicated process of making toast mostly on auto-pilot.

Aunt May, of course, had been up bright and early as usual, and was bustling about as though her dear nephew hadn't still been dead on his feet. He wasn't lazy, thank you very much, he just worked very hard and rarely got enough rest as a result, but he couldn't very well explain that he needed his extra sleep to balance out all the superheroing he did behind his aunt's back. However, even ignorant of the reasons, she was kind enough to wait until he'd managed to get some toast and a cup of coffee in front of himself before dropping the envelope on the table in front of him.

"Oh, this came for you today."

Peter blinked at the envelope. Indeed, it was addressed to him, or at least a Mr. Peter Parker, which he was fairly sure he had never been called unless he was in trouble. It was made of some sort of fine paper, with the name and address hand-written, though he did not recognize the handwriting.

Well. That was curious enough he had to actually open the thing to find out more.

In what was surely utterly superfluous, the contents of the envelope seemed to consist of another, slightly smaller envelope, again addressed to him. Peter opened it to find an assortment of cards of varying sizes, all stacked neatly on top of one another. Taking out the largest one at the bottom he found himself reading neat printed cursive, golden ink on heavy card stock with a slight greenish tint. As he shifted it in his hands, the card seemed to shift as well, taking on more of a red tone. That was… interesting.

Of course, it wasn't until he actually read the card that things really got interesting.

_"Doctor Anthony Stark and Captain Steven Rogers and Ms Virginia Potts  
and  
Doctor Bruce Banner  
request the pleasure of your company  
at the marriage of their children  
William Magnus Stark  
to  
Theodore Rufus Banner_

_Thursday, the third of July  
two thousand fourteen  
at half past six o'clock in the evening  
at Xavier's Institute for Higher Learning  
Westchester, New York_

_Reception to follow"_

"Peter?" Aunt May spoke up, and it wasn't until just then that Peter realized she was looking at him curiously. "What is it?"

"Nothing," he answered in a manner he knew all too well to be extremely suspicious. "It's nothing." Except it so wasn't nothing.

"Let me see." Aunt May was surprisingly deft, plucking the card from his fingers without much effort. "What's this? A wedding invitation?"

"Ah, yeah." Peter sighed, resigned. With some luck, she might not pay much attention to the names. Or the location. Or the card itself. "It's for some friends of mine. They've been together for something like four years now. I knew they were planning on getting married once they were both done with high school, but I didn't realize it would be so soon."

"Out of high school?" May's eyebrows rose. "That's a bit young nowadays, isn't it?"

"Yeah, well, they've been through some pretty hard times already. They figured that if all that couldn't tear them apart, it's going to last." Depression, loss of friends and family and a world, power-hungry megalomaniacs hell bent on kidnapping Wiccan at every opportunity… less would have tested the true strength of just about any relationship.

"Oh, I don't doubt that. I know plenty of couples who married young and stuck together, even if not everyone can do it." She paused, and Peter almost thought he'd gotten away with it, until she spoke again. "So, how do you know one of the Stark boys?"

Peter swallowed a sigh, mind working overtime to provide an answer that wouldn't be too suspicious. "Several ways, actually." Which was not even untrue. "I ran into Billy at my usual comic shop. He recognized me, you know, from the times I've taken pictures of them, and we got to talking. And then it turned out Danny and Billy have the same tutor so they knew each other already, and Ava and his brother's girlfriend go to the same gym sometimes." It was true enough. Ava had been in the Avengers Tower training room a couple of times, after all.

"Well, it sounds like you have quite the connection, then." Thank God, she seemed satisfied. "How come I haven't seen him, then? You have brought all your other friends by sometimes, after all."

"We mainly just keep running into each other. And when we plan something, well, it's usually at his house because they've got the bigger TV." He managed a grin. "I've gone to a couple of movie nights with friends before, remember? Well, that was at the Avengers tower. I swear, they've got a screen the size of our living room wall."

"And you never thought to introduce me to your friends?" She set her hands on her hips, eyebrows raised. "I'm rather disappointed, Peter."

"Uh. I didn't think it was that important?"

"Well, it is. You're clearly important enough for them to invite you to their wedding, and you know I like to meet the people you run around the town with." If only she'd known just how accurate that was.

"I'm sorry?" Yeah, that sounded like the best policy.

"Well, what's done is done." She clicked her tongue. "Say, how about you ask them over for dinner some time? Not right away, of course, they must be rather busy with the wedding preparations, but I do expect proper introductions sooner or later."

"Right. I'll do that." And pray that would be enough to deflect her. "Uh. I just remembered I promised to go see Sam about… something. That is, he didn't say. But I need to go, like, now." And, damn, now he'd probably have to inform Sam that he'd theoretically been over. If this investigative streak of Aunt May's was going to continue, he would be in so much trouble if he got caught on a lie.

At least he had the presence of mind to catch his cell phone on the way out of the door. This was going to be an interesting conversation.

*

He had only turned away for a moment, and the envelope was suddenly there.

In other circumstances, this might have not been quite so alarming. Out on a busy street, people dropped things all the time. However, he was not on the street, nor anywhere else with other people around. He had been crouching on the roof, quite devoid of any people besides himself, yet here all of a sudden was an envelope.

He didn't sense anyone nearby, even though someone had obviously delivered the object. Which meant some form of magic or other power was involved. Which… he probably didn't like. Most people who dabbled in that stuff didn't exactly want the best for him.

And yet, he couldn't just leave it there. It might get blown away and end up in someone else's hands, and that might end badly. Besides, it might not even be dangerous. Certainly there were more than one person out there who would have legitimate reason to try and reach him through unconventional methods.

Only one way to find out, though. Reaching out, he took the envelope into his hands, running fingertips over the spot for address. There was only one word there, but it was enough. "Daredevil". Obviously, whoever the sender was they didn't need an address book.

Well, it was addressed to him, so he might as well open it.

By now he was fairly sure this wasn't a trap; he would have smelled any dangerous substances by now, and from the feel of it the envelope didn't contain anything more unusual than paper and cardstock. Even so, he was somewhat surprised to find himself reading what was clearly a wedding invitation.

It was stupid to even contemplate it, of course. He had never met the young couple, and though he had heard they were doing good work in the more public superhero business, he saw little reason to socialize with people just because they happened to be in the same field of work. He was quite content watching over Hell's Kitchen, only asking for help from people he already trusted and even then only when it was necessary. He protected his own neighborhood, the rest of the city and the world had their own defenders. It was bad enough to network as a lawyer; there was absolutely no reason for him to try to reach every new superhero that kept popping up all over the map.

There was one thing that stopped him, though. One feature of the invitation that, while not exactly extraordinary, should not have been there. Not that it was addressed to Daredevil, not even its sudden appearance now that he knew who it was from, but rather something so mundane, he almost didn't realize it at first.

The invitation was written entirely in Braille. Except nobody was supposed to know Daredevil was blind.

Perhaps he would have to drop by after all.

*

"What on Earth were you thinking, Stark?"

"Hm?" Billy appeared somewhat confused, which Peter supposed was understandable. It wasn't exactly your standard greeting. "What have I done now?"

"You sent me an invitation without a warning or anything." Peter sighed, sticking his other hand in his pocket as he walked down the street. "I had to come up with a ton of excuses for my aunt right then and there. I mean, thank you for the invitation, but I would've appreciated a bit of a warning, that's all."

"Ah, sorry. Actually I was going to call you, I just didn't expect they'd get to you so fast."

"Eh, what's done is done. And I suppose she bought my explanation, however confused it was." Peter sighed. He hated lying to his aunt, but, well, some things he just couldn't explain like they were. "Before you ask, yes, of course I'm coming. And yes, I'll fill in the RSVP card nice and proper, you don't have to rely on this call when putting together the numbers."

"Thank you, that will make my life easier." Billy chuckled. "Don't worry about mailing it, though. Once you've filled it in, it'll get back to me by itself. Thought it'd be easier for everyone if people didn't need to worry about mailing it in time."

"Of course you did." Peter tried not to sound too wry. Why, yes, it actually was a logical and even practical solution, coming from a witch of Billy's caliber. "What about the dress code?" And, oh God, that was a terrible thought. A Stark party he had no clothes for. "I mean, I doubt I can just show up in the same clothes I wore for your birthday party."

"Oh, we aren't really doing anything very formal. I mean, dressy, yes, it is a wedding after all, but it's not black tie if that's what you're worried about. It's probably going to be a pretty even mix of superhero costumes, dress uniforms and suits; I know Thor's going to put on his best armor and he's officiating. Just put on whatever you feel would be good, we're definitely not going around with a score card."

"Right." Peter sighed. "Probably not going to do the costume, though. Aunt May's going to freak about making me presentable before I leave the house anyway, it'd be stupid to go through that hassle and then change the moment I get out."

"Whatever you like. Honestly, as long as you show up and aren't naked, we'll be happy." Billy paused. "Come to think of it, I'm not entirely convinced everyone will make it to the end of the night with their clothes on."

"I'd hope the two of you can wait at least until the kids go to bed." No, not what he had meant to say. What could he do? His mouth had a life of its own sometimes. The snarky neighbourhood Spider-Man wasn't all an act.

"Please." Billy snorted. "We've been sharing a bed ever since we came to this world, I'd damn well hope we can keep it in our pants until we're out of public. No, I'm somewhat more worried about Tony. He's not exactly known for his good behavior at parties."

"Not worried about Tommy, then?"

"No." The answer was easy, immediate. "As long as he shows up, I don't care if he's going to spend the whole night standing on his head and mooning everyone."

"You know, I'm not even sure if that's incredibly sweet or terribly disturbing." Peter paused. "Oh, right. Aunt May apparently wants to get to know you two, so she's inviting you for dinner. I couldn't exactly say no now that she knows that my friends Billy and Teddy are in fact Billy Stark and Teddy Banner, so you'd better show up or face her wrath. And hopefully not say anything terribly incriminating."

"We wouldn't dream of turning down such an invitation. Just let us know when to show up, and we'll be on our best behavior." Billy chuckled. "And now, I think I'd better get off the line, so I don't get in the way of something much more important."

"What? Why?" If Billy was going to start playing around at precognition, he would just go back to bed and cry himself to sleep at the lack of logic in the universe.

"Because if you got your invitation today, there is a good chance Mary-Jane received hers as well. Oh, and see if she could be at the dinner as well, will you?" And then, before Peter could say anything, the line went dead.

Peter stared at his phone. "Let me just say this," he said to nobody in particular, "the only reason all Starks aren't considered supervillains is that the bad guys wouldn't have anything to do with them."

Of course, that was when his phone rang.

*

Logan blinked as a big box was dropped down on the teacher's breakfast table, almost on top of his bacon. "And what the hell is that?"

"This," Mystique replied, with a hint of a smirk, "is our mail for the day. Quite an unusual amount, I would say."

"So it certainly appears." The Professor, of course, only seemed slightly amused. "And would you have any theories as to why that is, Raven?"

"Well, the obvious culprit seems to be these." She picked out an envelope from the box. "Dozens of these, addressed to various inhabitants of the mansion. And from the looks of them, I might be tempted to say they're wedding invitations."

"Right. Invitations to whose wedding, exactly?"

"Easy enough to find out." Mystique rummaged through the box for a while before coming out with another envelope. "Ah, here, addressed to myself and Irene. How utterly sweet." She opened the envelope, then the one inside it, and skimmed the contents. "So, it seems to be for Wiccan and Hulkling. Makes sense; it is about the right time for them to be sending theirs."

"What's the point of invitations?" Logan snorted. "They're having the thing here, obviously we're going to be present. It'd be more of a fuss to get everyone to stay away."

"It is still the polite thing to do," Professor pointed out. "Any chance I could have mine, Raven, dear? I would like to see exactly what it says."

While Raven looked through the box, presumably for the Professor's invitation, Anna Marie stood up from her almost finished breakfast, joining her in sorting through the letters. "They seem to have individual invitations for all the children as well." A hint of a smile curved her lips. "That's so sweet. A lot of the kids don't have any personal correspondence outside the school, they're going to be so excited to be invited personally."

"I suspect that is precisely the point of such an effort," Professor remarked as he accepted an envelope from Raven with a nod of thanks. "You know William takes pains to treat the children as individuals. It would make sense that he would make it clear their presence is desired individually, not just en masse."

"And I don't think you're very surprised by any of this, Professor." Kurt grinned brightly.

"Yes, well, it would be somewhat hard to be surprised after I was specifically requested to provide a list of current students and staff," Professor replied with a benevolent smile. "Now, let's see. Ah, I rather like the shifting colors, a very interesting choice. Makes one wonder what they have chosen for the actual wedding colors."

"Who the hell cares, anyway? As long as they're not going to dictate what I can wear, I certainly don't." Logan paused. "Assuming they've invited me, that is. The kid still seems a bit scared of me sometimes."

"If he is, I would not entirely blame him, Mein Freund." Kurt patted his shoulder in a gesture that would have cost most people a finger or two, then glanced over to the two women still shifting through the box. "Mutter? You found anything yet?"

"Patience, Kurt, I've been led to believe it's a virtue. I'm sure there is —" She picked up one envelope, the golden eyes widening a fraction, before her face took on a most delighted smirk. "Oh, my. Yes, Logan, it seems you are indeed invited."

"Oh?" Logan narrowed his eyes. "And what's so fucking funny about that?" If the envelope carried any of his old names — or names he might have once held in another world, he would... well. He wasn't even sure if he would be angry or amused.

"Oh, nothing whatsoever. As I said, it is quite sweet, really." The envelope landed on the table between them, inches away from ending up on top of the remains of Kurt's toast. Logan reached for it, but Kurt was faster, snatching it off the table for a look.

"Mein Gott." His eyes crinkled in the familiar way that meant he might have been blushing somewhere under his fur. "This is -- Professor! What exactly did you tell them?"

"Oh, I have not told them anything inappropriate." So why did he look so very satisfied? Clearly, Logan had to pry the envelope off Kurt's hands.

Nothing wrong with his name, no. It was there, clear as day, right on top of the line that bore Kurt's. "Why the hell is it addressed to both of us?"

"I see nothing the matter with this." And, yes, he was hereby convinced the Professor was actually even more evil than Magneto, nothing else could have explained that look. "Why, it is a completely appropriate way to address an invitation to two adults sharing a residence who are not yet married."

"I don't remember exactly advertising the fact." Not that he was hiding it, either, fuck what anyone else thought, but still. "So why the hell is this addressed like this?" Tommy. It had to be Tommy, the little bastard. "It's his smartass brother, I'll bet."

"I rather doubt Billy and Teddy needed any help in reaching those conclusions," Anna Marie said with a snort. "They're not exactly blind. And even if they hadn't seen any evidence for it, with all the people running about here, a word or two would have reached them either way. As you said, Tommy is a valid suspect."

"Why does this upset you so much, anyway?" Now it was Raven's turn to narrow her eyes. "My son is good enough to take to bed, but not good enough to acknowledge as such?"

"Mutter!" Kurt spluttered before Logan had any chance to respond. "You know that's not --"

"Calm down, elf." Logan sighed and rolled his eyes. "Nothing like that, no. I just don't like it when people know things about my personal life I haven't explicitly told them about. It's bad enough living with telepaths; I don't need random superheroes getting all up in my business as well."

"As I said, it doesn't exactly take a genius. And this isn't just your personal life, it's Kurt's as well," Jean pointed out. "If he has told someone, or let them come to that conclusion, that's his right."

"I never said --" This time, it was Kurt who interrupted him, a hand touching his arm.

"Don't, Logan. You know they are merely teasing you." The grin had softened into a small smile. "What do you say we finish our breakfast and then go sort out all these invitations, ja? I don't have a class this first period, and I'm sure your kids would love to help with distributing the invitations before getting to actual schoolwork. It will be a nice diversion, I'm sure."

"Right." First, he was going to finish eating his bacon, and not give a fuck if Mystique was giving him her patented Knowing Glances. He just didn't like people snooping about, that was all.

If he didn't throw the envelope away at the first opportunity even after taking out the actual invitation with its details, well, that was his business, wasn't it.

*

"Ugh." Peter covered his eyes and sighed. "Why do I feel like I've just been through an interrogation?"

"Because your aunt cares about you and wants to know what kind of suspicious people you are spending your time with?" Billy was grinning, he knew that much without even looking. "Clearly, she is evil for having so much concern for your well-being."

"Oh, shut up." He lifted his hand to glare at the guests. Aunt May had finally decided to step back to let them "talk among themselves", and yes, she had rather sounded like a teacher rewarding well-behaving kids. Which wasn't embarrassing at all or anything. "You're just lucky she likes you guys."

"Never said otherwise." Billy leaned closer to Teddy, and, yeah, the two really could be sickeningly sweet sometimes. "Why wouldn't she like us? We're excellent company for her silly little nephew."

"I'll be the bigger person and just ignore that comment." And certainly not make any further jibes about how they weren't exactly encouraging him to stay out of trouble with their constant heroics. Just because Aunt May wasn't the type to eavesdrop didn't mean she wouldn't just happen to be walking through the door the exact wrong moment to catch any unfortunate comments related to Spider-Man activity.

"So." MJ looked at the two, and yes, that was good, interruptions were good. "Why exactly did you tell Peter to ask me along, too?"

"What, we're not allowed to simply enjoy your lovely company?" The frightening thing was how innocent Teddy could actually look when he wanted to. If he hadn't known better, Peter might have thought he was being entirely sincere.

"Sure you are. However, you wouldn't exactly be a credit to the family name if you didn't take that as an excuse to further some ulterior motives."

"Well, in our defense, Teddy's a Banner, not Stark, so you can just direct your suspicions at me, Ms Investigative Journalist." Billy sighed, then. "Yes, we do have ulterior motives. Or, at least, we have a reason we wanted to speak to the two of you at once."

"Thought so." MJ gave a satisfied nod. "And what's the reason?"

"Let's just say we're in need of a team of a photographer and a writer." Teddy rubbed the back of his neck. "You know, to do an article."

Peter almost jumped as MJ nudged him with her elbow, then just sat up straight. "Ah. We're listening?" Okay, he perhaps hadn't meant for it to be that much of a question, but hopefully it'd do.

"We want the two of you to cover the wedding." And, yeah, it was a good thing he wasn't drinking anything just then or he might have choked or something. "Of course, we'll completely understand if you don't want to. It's going to be a lot of work when you could just enjoy being guests, and you'd probably also have to stay for the barbeque the next day when we know a lot of people will rather spend the Fourth with their families. But we would be rather grateful if you would at least consider it."

"But… why would you want us?" Peter still couldn't quite wrap his head around that. "I mean, I kind of get why you might want to put together an article about it, and definitely the need for a photographer, but still. We're not professionals or anything."

"We've already had offers for exclusive coverage of the wedding. And not small ones, either." Billy sighed. "We were just going to ignore the entire mess, but Pepper pointed out we could try to do some good with it. So, we figured we'll auction the rights, and give the proceeds to charity."

"Only, we don't want press at the event." Teddy reached an arm around Billy's shoulders, and yes, that was so very sweet. "We don't want our day to be about the media circus, so we figured it would be enough to have a couple of people cover the event. We'll then auction off that ready-made article to be published after the fact. The media won't even know the exact date beforehand, and the location not even after, it'd give too much of a chance for a villain attack."

"Except we can't hire just anyone. The place is going to be full of people with secret identities, spies and secret agents, and just kids who've done nothing wrong except been born different from the norm. Which means that even though the photos and text to be released will obviously have to be checked beforehand, we still need someone who we know isn't going to let a couple of pictures or names slip on the sly. And it doesn't matter who we hire, there aren't professionals who we could absolutely trust with our friends' safety."

"And, ah… you think you can trust us?" Which, wow. That was pretty heavy.

"We believe we can." Billy nodded. "Of course, professional or not, you will be paid for your work. I'd say it's nothing much, but my dear dad happens to be of the type of rich people who believe that buying an establishment to get an annoying individual kicked out is a perfectly acceptable way of getting out of a conversation, so you can probably logically deduce that would be a lie. His approach to a wedding budget was basically to hand us a credit card and tell us to go nuts."

"Right." MJ nodded, and how could she still look mostly calm? "Dare I ask how much, exactly?"

"Ten thousand each." Then, before Peter could properly recover, Teddy added, "Also, full college scholarship, though that would come with strings attached if you accept."

Even MJ seemed a bit startled at the sum, but managed another nod anyway. "And those strings?"

"SI has first call at hiring you upon graduation." Billy gave them a faint half-grin. "Tony's always looking for more potential mad scientists to convert to his evil ways, and he also happens to believe that half the superhero business is having the right PR. So, he's not going to pass by the chance of getting a budding journalist and an aspiring scientist into his clutches before anyone else has had a chance." He paused. "He also told me to mention that the offer comes with a glowing letter of recommendations to whatever your first choice college is. Apparently certain members of our families have some clout in the academic circles. Who knew?"

"That." Peter swallowed. "That's a bit much to take in at once."

"Yeah, there's a reason we didn't want to do this over the phone." Teddy sighed. "Just… think about it, will you? We really would appreciate it."

"We'll do it." MJ's hand squeezed Peter's even as she spoke. "Did you really think we wouldn't? That's, that's basically a free start on my dream career. Of course we'll do it."

"Yeah." Peter nodded slowly. "Just — you really think I can do it?" He had no doubt about MJ's abilities, she would triumph for sure, but he wasn't quite so certain about himself. He was very much an amateur photographer, not someone to put on what definitely should have been a professional job, like wedding photography. At least not the kind of wedding photography that would likely end up on magazine covers the world over.

"We've seen your work, remember? Believe me, we trust you'll get the kind of pictures we want to see of our wedding day." Now, a proper grin spread on Billy's face. "Of course, we'll probably be too happy to care either way, but still."

"Ah. Right." That didn't exactly inspire much confidence, but still. "I… guess we'll do it, then."

"Excellent." Teddy gave them a brilliant smile, and wow, that was pretty brilliant, and he had experience with Cap's public smile to compare. "I suppose we can talk about the details later, but for now, thank you. That's one less worry for us."

Peter was about to respond, but just then, Aunt May walked in. "Ah, I'm sorry to interrupt your very important young people conversations," she said, and Peter could swear there was mischief in her eyes. Except that couldn't be, Aunt May just couldn't be mischievous. "I know I promised I'd leave you alone, but I just remembered something."

"Oh, please don't apologize." Billy gave her a smile, not quite as brilliant as Teddy's beaming one but certainly worthy of a Stark. "What is it?"

"Could you please get this to Virginia?" Aunt May walked closer to hand something to Billy. A stylus, Peter realized. "She let me borrow hers when my cell phone was feeling finicky, and I just realized I'd forgotten to return it. And since I don't know if I'll see her next week, I thought I'd ask you to return it for me."

"Sure, no problem." Billy tucked the stylus away as though this hadn't been a big deal, leaving Peter alone in his gaping.

"Wait. You know her?" And yeah, he was pretty proud of himself for not choking on the words.

"Well, after a fashion." May smiled, not a hint of cunning in her expression, which had to mean she was just hiding it very well. "Both Virginia and Bruce, I believe that's Teddy's father, go to the same yoga class with me. They're not always there, busy with saving the world and so on I presume, but when they do attend, we often go for tea afterwards. Or smoothies, there's this place nearby we absolutely adore."

"You basically interrogated me about how I knew them and never thought to mention you're all best friends with their parents?"

Aunt May tutted. "Now, Peter, I never interrogated you. Of course I would be curious when you'd kept everything so very secret. Did you really think I would let you run off with someone I know nothing about?" She clapped her hands. "But, once again, congratulations, boys. I know you'll be even happier together than you already are, hard though that might be to believe."

"Ah, thank you." At last there was a hint of a flush on Billy's face. Good to see he wasn't entirely unaffected, even though Peter suspected it was still mostly to do with Teddy. "We certainly plan on it."

"Well, I'll get out of your hair, now. And Peter, sweetie?" As he looked at her, her smile sharpened, just for a moment. "Please do not underestimate your dear aunt so, hmm?"

"No, Aunt May." In fact, he suspected he would have a hard time not being terrified of her sudden devious side for the foreseeable future.

Oh, well. At least this was likely to be the last surprise he got for a while. At least, the last one that his Spider Sense didn't bother to warn him about.

He had to think that, or he'd have collapsed in despair.

*

I really don't see what the point is in opening the envelope I found on my floor. Well, aside from seeing what kind of a trap might be inside, because seriously who ever leaves something in my place without meaning to kill me, but I've been reading this thing so I know it's not a trap and I know what it says, too, so there's not much point. That would be cheating, though, and it might well be an invitation for me to stay away, so, yeah. Gotta do what a man's gotta do, eh?

O glorious day, it actually is an invitation! I've been invited! Probably because they didn't want me crashing the party and cursing their firstborn kid or something, which, hey, just because I crossdressed that once doesn't mean I'm a fairy. And if I were, I'd totally be the kind that sparkles and drops glitter everywhere, if only because I bet Wolverine's allergic to fun. But now I'm invited, so I can't even try that, it'd be breaking the rules of the fairy tale and if you do that you get turned into a frog. I bet I wouldn't even be a poison frog, which is total bullshit. I'm all red and black, obviously it ought to be a warning sign.

Request the pleasure of your company, blah, blah, blah. Nothing interesting, except the place, meaning there's going to be a ton of cute little mutant kids running about. Then inserts, ohh, there's going to be a BBQ the next day for anyone who hangs around, I'm in! It's a Stark-funded party, there's got to be good chow there. That and I'm kinda curious about how patriotic the good ol' Captain's going to be on the 4th while also celebrating his birthday and his almost-but-not-quite stepson's wedding. Knowing the old boy scout, he'll probably be all guilty that he's thinking of things other than the great and grand US of A, which in my opinion is bullshit, but then without him there technically might not be me and man that's a frightening thought.

No fighting allowed among the guests, though, "outside of traditional challenges that will not cause permanent or severe harm". And I'm pretty sure we're supposed to follow that rule, what with reality-changing witches in attendance. He wouldn't be very happy if I tried to take out a weapon, or, say, punched someone. Or kicked them. Or headbutted them. Still, traditional challenges sound fun. Whatcha wanna bet there's going to be Asgardians there? Of course there are, Thor's going to be there, and if he wants to invite his buddies it's not like Wiccan's going to get over his fanboyism for long enough to say no, no way. Asgardian arm-wrestling, woohoo! I bet we'll break a table or two before the night's over.

I wonder if Cable's around in this 'verse yet? I'd love to go with him, just to see everyone's faces. Not that he's much fun at parties, but, hey. Maybe a Stark party is just what he needs to loosen up a bit! Man, that'd be great to see. So what if the first Summers in this 'verse is probably never going to get any form of a woman, that's what you get for being the writer's unfavorite, suck on that, Cyke my boy.

Not that I'm going to get much screen time, anyway, Cable or no Cable. The wedding's probably only going to be in the denouement of the next story, and all the guests will only get offhand mentions, so if I'm lucky I'll get Pepper protesting at my table manners. Not that I'd complain, hey, anything to get a hot redhead to pay attention to me, but still. An epic adventure of magical friendship would be too much to ask for, I should be happy the author needed interesting people to receive invites in this chapter or I wouldn't even get this one lonely scene, boo. But hey, one's better than nothing, right? Unless it's an itch you can't scratch. Man, that'd drive anyone crazy! Er. Crazy-er. Crazier? Kinda sounds like a brazier.

Have to remember the no fighting rule, though. I've read enough comics to know I don't want to gain Wiccan's wrath, he might actually do the frog thing. Besides, anyone with the potential to read the actual panels is obviously my buddy, gotta stick together and all that, and that whole "walk on top of countless panels from the series" trick was pretty impressive, even if it was the other Wiccan and not this one, points of divergence being what they are. And who knows? I might actually gain the wrath of that other Wiccan, and that'd be the kind of a headache nobody wants, and then the author would get mad at me and that just never ends well.

Writers. Whatcha gonna do? Play cute and try not to end up as a favorite, mostly, favorites always get all the shit piled on them because you can't have the awesome resolution without suffering a bit first.

Oh, wait, that was a rhetorical question. Just ignore me (at your own peril).

Deadpool out!


End file.
